Please help me , i may be on the verge of killing myself!?

a year and a few months ago i had a weird sensation and i panicked. what i remember was that i started thinking why us humans fix ourselves if we cant see ourselves and from that day on ive been living like this.For like 5 or 6 years i would suffer from horrible panic attacks maybe 3 times a day and anxiety. i would fear death i used to think i was always sick and dying. whenever i went out i would panic , id feel like im sufficating and get panic attacks however whenever i felt safe i would be so happy and back to normal. like 3 years ago i had a thought that was that i didnt recognize my family, as if i didnt know who they were. that sensation lasted a few months and quickly went away.2 years ago the same thing happened however this time the thought was that my heart was beating too rapidly and going out of control.i stayed with this panicky thaught for almost a year. all those years i felt haunted , i ddnt like leaving my house without knwing there was a hospital near by or a way out . mental illness is not common in the family however my aunt and cousin both suffer from sever stress and my grandma for alzheimers.howver a year and a bit ago this new thought happend but this time it keeps on worstening.at first i would just question life , like whats the point in doing things , why are we here , why cant we see ourselves and all we do i see were like machines trapped inside boxes like our soulds are one thing and our bodys another.then it progressed , id have more wierd thoughts that would lead to panic attacks. but these panic attacks were different , i wouldnt feel suffoctation or dizziness instead id feel as if i was loosing my mind , like i was being detached like my soul had to get out of my body .suddenly everyday i feel as if im watching my life through someone elses point of view , i dont enjoy the things i used to do before i feel as if im not real my lifes not real and sometimes when i see myself in the mirror i dont recognize myself even though i am aware that thats me . i dont like leaving my house though i really want to , i wanna socialize and be a normal teenage girl.my symptoms worsten when im bored , stresses or getting my period . when im distracted 100 % i feel normal , im not scared and i go out i forget my thoughts , sometimes this lasts for a whole month maybe 2 .but eventhought i feel normal im just 80 % normal because i still feel unreal or like a machine trapped in a box .i still feel empty as if im not living my life . im just 16 years old i wanna be able to live my life normally but now im questioning wether i will . sometimes my attacks get so bad that i feel like KILLING MYSELF , or just want to sleep and begin to cry. please help me , guide me and tell me what to do what this is , is it curable , am i going insane ?1 please help me